Has it ever happened that you did your best but still couldn’t get the highest score in an essay competition? But at the same time, you just thought for two minutes and ended up creating an art piece or caught a note of the tune that just made everyone stop and stare with awe. Has it ever happened to you that numbers seemed so simple but words were just too confusing? Or was it the other way around for you? Has it ever happened that dancing and running around seemed easier than staying still and listening to a story or drawing a portrait? Then you are not wrong, you are just different.
What does it mean to be different?
If you ever felt like Nobita or Kiteretsu or basically a duck in a pond filled with swans then you know exactly what it feels like to be different. The feeling of always wearing a big red dress or hat in a crowd of black and white, that’s the feeling of being different. “The elephant in the room” is the idiom that refers to a significant issue that is obvious but everyone avoids acknowledging or discussing it. You know you are feeling different when you feel like the elephant in the room. You feel you are either Gulliver in a land of lilliputs or a lilliput in Gulliver’s world. Whatever it may be, one thing is sure for almost everyone who feels different, it doesn’t feel good.
What can you do about being different?
The simple answer to that question is nothing. You heard it right, there’s really nothing you can do about it. In fact, the real question is why should you do anything about it? Sure, you can try changing a bit of this and that and jazz a bit while toning down a bit of that and, voila! You turned a unicorn into a horse or a Rhinoceros into a Hippopotamus, but the question is for how long? A Rhino is bound to miss taking mud baths and a unicorn is bound to miss breathing in the fresh air from the sky while flying. You can change yourself a bit or even more than that but then the question is for how long? There will come a time when you will hate yourself even more as you won’t be able to recognise what you have become any more. You may put down your paintbrush, or your abacus set, or your dancing shoes, or your writing pen, but will you be happy doing that? Rather the better question is to ask yourself who you are doing this for. For people around who you need to be a certain way to feel accepted? Sure you can jump around the lava and walk on the rock just to be closer to people you like, but for how long will you be jumping? What if you are meant to walk on the flames and shine like the Human Torch of Marvel?
That’s why it’s time to rethink and look at the following tips to help you get started and appreciate all the things that make you different.
- Take a long deep gaze at yourself in the mirror:
Stare at yourself for 5-10 minutes in the mirror. Identify the things you hate about your face or body such as you have dark circles, or tiny lips, etc and take a picture. Now take sketch pens or makeup products and try to outline and draw on your face all the insecurities you think you have. Do you think you have dark circles? Draw them as dark as panda eyes! Do you think you have acne? Draw as many as you think you’ve got. And once you’re done take a look at yourself in the mirror and compare what you’re seeing in the mirror to the picture that you have previously taken. See any difference? If you did now you know how distorted your thinking truly was.
- Not everything different is bad:
Ever heard of the saying, not everything that glitters is gold? Exactly! Just like that, not everything that looks different is wrong or bad. Do you know who else was different from the crowd just like you? Ironman. But is he bad or wrong? And what about Einstein? Is he bad or wrong? Or how about Marie Curie? Or Charlotte Brontë? Or Begum Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain? Were they wrong or bad too? The reason people are not ready to accept or are comfortable around something different is that they are not used to it. That doesn’t make you bad or wrong. It just means people need a little more time to understand you. So, give them that. After all:
- Let them into your world:
How do you expect people to understand or know you, if you don’t let them in like Elsa? We all remember how it turned out for Elsa when she decided to hide away in the castle. And didn’t tell anyone about what happened to her. It was only when she finally let others see her for who she truly was, that was she able to understand and accept herself better. Start small by maybe showing them how to do a dance step or two or how to draw an animal or anything that you think makes you different or weird, share it with them. And who knows, maybe you’ll be the coolest one in the school. It’s scary but you won’t find out until you give it a try.
- Let it out:
No matter how much I tell you or somebody else tells you or you yourself remind yourself how much you matter or are amazing, there will be days when you just can’t get up. And it’s okay, sometimes the ground is our friend and tears our lemonade with a salty punch. So, let it out and cry your heart out. Scream, shout but just let it out. Don’t hold it in just because you are different and are not supposed to make ripples. Create a storm if you want but then remember every storm must come to an end and so does your sorrow.
Afterword
We know the struggle to be an alpaca in a world adored by Llamas is hard but just like we are hanging on, we know you can too. Be a paca, read Knowpaca and be proud of your difference rather than hiding it.
