India is a land of diverse cultures. But sadly it’s not always that being different is celebrated. Sometimes being different is looked down upon and made fun of. Although it shouldn’t be this way, the society just never gets it. And sometimes these differences are created by society. It may not be something physical or mental but rather a category that society creates and puts people in because of something as stupid as someone’s birth, something that nobody has control over. It’s like Nobita’s friends refusing to play with Doraemon because he is a cat and not a human. Doraemon has no control over it so how can you really blame him for that? This category that I am talking about that is still very much prevalent or common in India is what is referred to as the caste system.

Caste System: What Is It? (Popular Belief)

The caste system in India has its roots in the varna system that puts people into certain categories depending on the type of work they do. Unlike today, back in the day generations of family used to do the same work. If suppose your father or mother worked as a craftsman then there is a high chance that you will also end up working as a craftsman because it’s easier for you to learn the necessary skills from your parents or your grandparents. Back then by which I mean before the Britishers came to India, we rarely had any universities or colleges that helped people hone these skills. So, their only way to learn something is to learn about that particular skill, such as carpentry, business, etc. by either finding a guru who will teach them these things or being born into a family that has been practising the skill they want to master for ages.

One of the theories behind the caste system that supports the concept that caste is decided at birth is the theory that the caste system is decided based on which body part of Lord Brahma, the creator one, comes from. The popular belief is that the Brahmins who are known as the intellectuals come from the head, the Kshatriyas who are known to be fine warriors came from Brahma’s arms, the Vaishyas who are known as traders come from Brahma’s thighs, and lastly the Shudras come from Brahma’s feet and hence were assigned all the menial jobs.

Caste System: What Was It? (A Brief History)

But this belief though popular is sadly not accurate. According to Dr. Subramanian Swamy, a former member of the Rajya Sabha who is an Indian economist and statistician, the varna system which is very popularly known as the caste system today was actually meant to create a division of labour, i.e., categorise people based on the work they do and not be determined by one’s birth. The varna system was the idea of two rishis, Rishi Bhrigu and Rishi Bhardwaj. According to both of them, there were four major sources of power in society, Knowledge, weapons, wealth, and land. They felt that no two people in different professions should have more than one power as that may lead to them becoming a bully, as you have seen with Gian from Doraemon, who is to say he wouldn’t bully people more if he also had the brains for it. 

According to the rishis, the Brahmins will possess knowledge but not land, weapons, or wealth. The Kshatriyas will be masters in handling weapons but need to consult Brahmins regarding policy decisions. The Vaishyas will have the wealth but their status in society will be determined by their need to help others or philanthropy. The Shudras back then were just a few in number and it was decided that their children would be integrated into the society and not considered to be at the bottom. Plus one’s varna or caste is decided based on the work they do and not by their birth into a certain family. 

Then how come a system based on the division of labour suddenly changes into one based on birth? The answer to this question lies in India’s history of colonisation. With the Britisher’s arrival came their curiosity to understand our diversity in India. And what better way to do that than by categorising people into separate categories that are decided at birth? Why at birth? Because it makes it easy for them to understand us. If it’s based on the work one takes up then one can change their profession anytime in their life and their varna or caste will change with it, but if it is by birth it’s unchangeable. Plus it is also very similar to the class system that they follow in Europe, wherein, the Clergy or the Priests are at the top, the Noblemen in the middle and then the peasants or common people. It is also true that back in those days many people used to continue in the line of work their parents or grandparents used to be masters in. But they still had the option to choose what caste they wanted to be in depending on the kind of work they wished to do. To give some examples of people practising this choice back in the day, let’s look at the cases of Maharishi Ved Vyasha, who wrote the Mahabharat and is regarded as a Brahmin though he is a son of a fisherwoman; and Maharishi Valmiki who wrote the Ramayan was also considered as a child of a Dalit woman but is regarded on an equal stature as a Brahmin. But the Britishers ensured that this choice was taken away. But how did they do it?

Simple by keeping a record of people born in India, i.e., through the Census. It is through this that the caste system that we know today was created as a section when it came to personal data collection. And once it became a written document stating which caste one belonged to it became harder for people to change their caste as the document states that they are part of one caste and a written document is permanent.

Casteism in India

Thanks to the efforts of the Britishers to make their understanding of us easier we are not left with a very evil system that runs on making people feel inferior. Thus, the caste system that we know today led to a rise in casteism or treating people differently based on the caste they were born in. Though certain laws have been passed to fight this evil system and the discrimination that comes with it, sadly it all boils down to how people change their behaviour. So, the best and most efficient way to fight casteism is by changing our attitude towards people from different caste. The more inclusive we become the better we learn to live together.

Has it ever happened that you did your best but still couldn’t get the highest score in an essay competition? But at the same time, you just thought for two minutes and ended up creating an art piece or caught a note of the tune that just made everyone stop and stare with awe. Has it ever happened to you that numbers seemed so simple but words were just too confusing? Or was it the other way around for you? Has it ever happened that dancing and running around seemed easier than staying still and listening to a story or drawing a portrait? Then you are not wrong, you are just different.

What does it mean to be different?

If you ever felt like Nobita or Kiteretsu or basically a duck in a pond filled with swans then you know exactly what it feels like to be different. The feeling of always wearing a big red dress or hat in a crowd of black and white, that’s the feeling of being different. “The elephant in the room” is the idiom that refers to a significant issue that is obvious but everyone avoids acknowledging or discussing it. You know you are feeling different when you feel like the elephant in the room. You feel you are either Gulliver in a land of lilliputs or a lilliput in Gulliver’s world. Whatever it may be, one thing is sure for almost everyone who feels different, it doesn’t feel good.

What can you do about being different?

The simple answer to that question is nothing. You heard it right, there’s really nothing you can do about it. In fact, the real question is why should you do anything about it? Sure, you can try changing a bit of this and that and jazz a bit while toning down a bit of that and, voila! You turned a unicorn into a horse or a Rhinoceros into a Hippopotamus, but the question is for how long? A Rhino is bound to miss taking mud baths and a unicorn is bound to miss breathing in the fresh air from the sky while flying. You can change yourself a bit or even more than that but then the question is for how long? There will come a time when you will hate yourself even more as you won’t be able to recognise what you have become any more. You may put down your paintbrush, or your abacus set, or your dancing shoes, or your writing pen, but will you be happy doing that? Rather the better question is to ask yourself who you are doing this for. For people around who you need to be a certain way to feel accepted? Sure you can jump around the lava and walk on the rock just to be closer to people you like, but for how long will you be jumping? What if you are meant to walk on the flames and shine like the Human Torch of Marvel?

That’s why it’s time to rethink and look at the following tips to help you get started and appreciate all the things that make you different.

• Take a long deep gaze at yourself in the mirror:

Stare at yourself for 5-10 minutes in the mirror. Identify the things you hate about your face or body such as you have dark circles, or tiny lips, etc and take a picture. Now take sketch pens or makeup products and try to outline and draw on your face all the insecurities you think you have. Do you think you have dark circles? Draw them as dark as panda eyes! Do you think you have acne? Draw as many as you think you’ve got. And once you’re done take a look at yourself in the mirror and compare what you’re seeing in the mirror to the picture that you have previously taken. See any difference? If you did now you know how distorted your thinking truly was.

• Not everything different is bad:

Ever heard of the saying, not everything that glitters is gold? Exactly! Just like that, not everything that looks different is wrong or bad. Do you know who else was different from the crowd just like you? Ironman. But is he bad or wrong? And what about Einstein? Is he bad or wrong? Or how about Marie Curie? Or Charlotte Brontë? Or Begum Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain? Were they wrong or bad too? The reason people are not ready to accept or are comfortable around something different is that they are not used to it. That doesn’t make you bad or wrong. It just means people need a little more time to understand you. So, give them that. After all: 

• Let them into your world:

How do you expect people to understand or know you, if you don’t let them in like Elsa? We all remember how it turned out for Elsa when she decided to hide away in the castle. And didn’t tell anyone about what happened to her. It was only when she finally let others see her for who she truly was, that was she able to understand and accept herself better. Start small by maybe showing them how to do a dance step or two or how to draw an animal or anything that you think makes you different or weird, share it with them. And who knows, maybe you’ll be the coolest one in the school. It’s scary but you won’t find out until you give it a try.

• Let it out:

No matter how much I tell you or somebody else tells you or you yourself remind yourself how much you matter or are amazing, there will be days when you just can’t get up. And it’s okay, sometimes the ground is our friend and tears our lemonade with a salty punch. So, let it out and cry your heart out. Scream, shout but just let it out. Don’t hold it in just because you are different and are not supposed to make ripples. Create a storm if you want but then remember every storm must come to an end and so does your sorrow. 

Afterword

We know the struggle to be an alpaca in a world adored by Llamas is hard but just like we are hanging on, we know you can too. Be a paca, read Knowpaca and be proud of your difference rather than hiding it. 

With the recent advancement in medical technology, we hope to find a cure for all illnesses be it because of bacteria or viruses. But in the meantime, while we search for a cure for even the common cold there are many sicknesses spreading around us that we must remain aware of. Being aware is as good as having the Doraemon’s magic pocket, you may not always need all the gadgets or in your case the knowledge of particular illnesses, but if you ever need it you can always look back to that knowledge and feel prepared. One such illness that has been on the rise recently is Mpox or Monkey Pox, let’s find out more about it.

Mpox: What is it?

Mpox is a virus which is a member of the Orthopoxvirus genus. A virus is different from bacteria as bacteria can be cured easily with antibiotics and the illness that a bacteria causes is called a bacterial infection. But when it comes to viruses they are hard to treat and the illness that they cause is called viral infection. As they are hard to treat, they are allowed to run their course and fight with your body’s immune system until they lose. Though there are some antiviral medications available for certain viral infections like HIV, for most viral infections there is no medication as such. Your common cold is considered a viral infection hence usually the best cure for a common cold is to rest up and let your body fight it. On the other hand, tetanus is a bacteria that you can fight with, with a tetanus shot.

The particular genus or family the Mpox or monkeypox virus belongs to was also responsible in the past for the spread of cowpox and smallpox. The reason it is called monkeypox is because it was first discovered in 1958 in monkeys. But unlike the name suggests this virus can attack both humans and animals and hence we need to be more careful. Some of its symptoms such as headache, fever, exhaustion, and muscle aches can be confused with other viral infections. But one of the most noticeable symptoms of this disease is the appearance of rashes. The rashes first look like flat lesions or like a patch of red on your skin, that develops into a blister and then a scab. This is the most important marker of the disease.

Mpox: How do I protect myself from it?

Mpox can only be transmitted via direct contact with the infected person’s or animal’s rash or their bodily fluids like saliva, blood, etc. It can also be transmitted via air through respiratory droplets which are released when you cough, sneeze, talk or breathe hard, hence taking important precautions is of utmost importance. You can do the following to protect yourself from Mpox:

• Maintain Good Hygiene:

Always ensure to wash your hands before and after you eat with soap and water to ensure that all the germs from your hands are dead. Whenever you visit very crowded places remember to come back and change out of your clothes and clean the exposed parts of your body with soap and water to prevent contamination. Whenever you are visiting crowded public places like gyms be sure to wipe the surface of gym equipment with wet tissue before using them.

• Love Animals But Don’t Catch Mpox:

We all love to give our furry buddies all the love in the world but remember that loving them is fine but do it with caution. Mpox virus is mostly spread through rodents (such as rats, hamsters, squirrels, guinea pigs, etc.) and primates (such as chimpanzees, gorillas, monkeys, orangutans, etc.) in areas where the disease is already on the rise like Africa, hence be careful when coming into contact with animals in those regions.

• Take Your Vaccine Shot:

Remember to take your due vaccine shots such as JYNNEOS or ACAM2000 to ensure that you are fully prepared and protected from Mpox. Needles hurt but also save lives so close your eyes and imagine you are in your happy place and it will make the entire vaccination process a little easier.

• Keep Yourself Away From People Who Have Caught Mpox:

Sometimes the best way you can take care of someone is by staying away. Hence, let the doctors who are much more experienced handle the situation while you keep yourself healthy so that when the time comes you can help out as much as you can. Do not share beddings, clothing, towels or personal items with someone who has Mpox. And disinfect surfaces and objects that may have been contaminated with antiseptic lotions like Dettol.

• Improve Your Immunity:

Given that viral infections fight with their immunity it’s important to build a strong immune system. By eating a balanced diet, getting a good 7-8 hours of sleep and being active through various activities like exercise, dance, etc. you can ensure that your immune strength is at its best all the time. 

Stay safe so that you can ensure somebody else’s safety tomorrow.  

Has it ever happened that you were at the playground and there was an uncle who smiled at you and tried to touch you in a way that didn’t feel good? Has it ever happened that you were riding the lift alone and an adult offered to give you candy in exchange for doing something that you are not comfortable with? That something can be anything from a hug to sitting on their lap. Has it ever happened that your dance teacher, swimming teacher or anyone touched you in a way that made you feel really bad? That is what we call a “bad touch.” Let’s understand it better.

What do you mean by “private parts”?

The first thing you need to understand is that everyone has something called a personal space, a space that only belongs to them. And your body is part of that personal space and belongs to only you and nobody else. Hence there are certain parts of your body that you cover up with your undergarments or a bathing or swimming suit that you refer to as private parts. These parts are not supposed to be touched by anyone barring your parents (if it is required to clean you up), or the doctor (if it is required for a medical check-up) in the presence of your parent or guardian.

But barring these private parts if ever it so happens that there are certain other areas of your body that you did not like the way somebody else touched you can call it a “bad touch” as well. 

What is a good touch and what is a bad touch?

A touch refers to an act of touching something or someone. On the one hand, we have good or safe touch. A good or safe touch refers to a touch that makes you feel happy or good. For example, how do you feel when your grandparents hug you? How do you feel when your friends hold your hands while playing or put their arms around you without hurting you? You feel good, right? Hence, these are called good touches.

How do you feel in situations in which your mother or father helps you take a bath or clean yourself after using the washroom? How do you feel in situations where you visit a doctor and they touch you to do your medical check-up in the presence of your mother or father? Do you feel safe? Then this also is considered a good touch or a safe touch. A good touch refers to any kind of touch that makes you feel good or at least doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable or scared.

Bad touch or unsafe touch refers to touches that make you feel bad and uncomfortable. This could include somebody touching your private parts, hurting you by grabbing you too tightly or asking you to touch something or someone that you don’t want to as you don’t feel good about it. Whenever you are forced to touch something or someone that you don’t like or somebody touches you in a way you don’t like or feel safe with then that’s when you call it a bad touch. 

What is a secret or special touch?

If you’re confused about whether it’s a bad touch or not just think about how the touch made you feel when it happened, did you feel good and safe or bad and unsafe? Did you feel confused and scared? Or happy and nice? If you feel confused and scared, then you know it’s not a good feeling and hence is a bad touch.  

An important thing to remember is that whenever somebody touches you in a way that you don’t feel good about or basically a bad touch, it’s very important that you let somebody else who is older than you and you trust them, know about it. Often that person who touched you in a bad way may ask you to keep it a “secret” or call it a “special” touch, but you need to remember that it’s your body at the end of the day, if you didn’t feel good then you must let someone older to you whom you trust know about this touch.

Many times the person who touches you badly may offer you a toy or a sweet treat like ice cream, chocolate, etc. or some snack and tell you not to tell others about this “special” touch, or “secret” touch. When that happens ask yourself one thing, do you feel good after receiving such gifts from that person? Or do you feel scared and confused because of what happened? And if you felt scared and confused then how is it a gift? Whenever you receive a gift it should make you feel happy, right? But this is not making you feel happy, then it’s not nice or right. Hence let someone older than you know about this. To understand it better, let’s watch the below video:

What can you do?

When someone touches you in a bad way it’s really scary. But here are a few things you can do to help yourself:

1. Say no:

Always remember if you don’t feel good, you must say no. Would you eat a vegetable if you didn’t like it? Would you continue to read a book if you did not like the story? Would you eat a vanilla cake when you like chocolate? No, right? You always manage to say what you don’t like, so do that when it comes to bad touch as well. In a very loud, clear, and confident tone, say no. 

2. Run away:

After you’ve said no, the safest thing to do is get away from that person who wanted to touch you badly. Hence, just like Dory from Finding Nemo once said “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming”, you need to “just keep running, just keep running, just keep running” until you find an adult you trust or are back in your room where you can close the door or are surrounded by people who you know will help you if you ask for their help.

3. Bite, scratch and run:

It may also happen that the person who wanted to touch you badly won’t let you go. That person may trap you in a room or with their arms. You may not always have a tool at hand to help you in these situations, hence use your body’s natural weapons, i.e., your teeth and nails. Bite as hard as you can and scratch as sharp as you can, this will surely surprise that other person and make them cry in pain for some time, giving you just enough time to run away from them.

4. Tell an adult who you trust:

The moment you run away from the person who was trying to touch you badly, run to the adult you trust the most and tell them everything. Remember you don’t need to be scared, you didn’t do anything wrong. Asking for help is nothing to feel ashamed about. Don’t let anybody tell you that you were wrong or that you should feel ashamed. Telling an adult that you trust is a must as they will ensure that you don’t face such situations anymore. So, never hesitate to tell an adult about what happened.

Afterword

Your safety is in your hands. Whenever you are feeling threatened or unsafe, always ask for help. Unless you let others know you are hurting, how would they know when to help you? Your body belongs to you and if anybody tries to touch you in a way that doesn’t feel good run and ask for help. Lastly, remember that it’s never your fault, so don’t hesitate to tell an adult whom you trust because you think they might scold you or punish you for what happened.

Did you know that you can be the smartest person in the room intellectually but also be the dumbest in reading “emotional cues”? Emotional cues refer to hints or signs about how someone is feeling and behaving appropriately. For example, if your friend is not feeling good you will try and ask them if they are okay, did something happen, etc. instead of jumping around and talking about yourself. Although you may think that it is natural, you will be surprised as to how many people still fail to understand others and why they do certain things such as when you are unable to understand why Nobita helps Gian even after he hurts him in Doraemon. This is where emotional intelligence or EQ comes into the picture.

What is EQ?

EQ stands for emotional quotient. It refers to your level of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to a state where you can not only understand your own emotions and process them but also put yourself in somebody else’s place, see things from their point of view, and understand their emotions. Unlike IQ, EQ is usually assessed through self-report questionnaires, behavioural assessments, and peer reviews, which often focus on how one interacts with others and handles emotions. There are five key areas under EQ, they include:

• Self-awareness:

It refers to your ability to be aware of what you are feeling and accept it. If you’re not happy over something that someone has done to you, you understand that you are feeling the emotion of sadness and accept it. Being aware of your emotions and what you are feeling is the first step in gaining a high EQ or emotional intelligence. Sometimes you can even feel two or three or more emotions at the same time. Such as in the previous scenario, if you’re not happy with what someone has done to you, you may feel sad and angry at the same time.

• Self-regulation:

Right after awareness comes regulation. It does so happen that sometimes you may feel an emotion very strongly. Let’s understand this with an example, suppose you’re mad that your friend didn’t come to play with you in the evening you may feel so angry that you would want to throw certain things in your room. But those with a higher EQ or emotional intelligence will not act on these thoughts of throwing things in the room when they feel angry as it will not make your friend come to play. Instead, they may engage in other activities or reason with themselves to calm themselves down.

• Motivation:

More often than not we are motivated by prizes or praises that we receive from others to do better at something. It could be anything from coming first in class to drawing a very pretty picture. However, those with a high EQ or emotional intelligence are motivated to do a task well because it makes them happy or fulfils some of their own internal goals. These goals can range from self-growth to just feeling happy by doing the work.

• Empathy:

Empathy refers to the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes or being able to put yourself in another person’s situation to understand their emotions and struggles better. It may sound easy but it’s very difficult to do so. This is especially true when they have wronged you in some way, such as, your friend ruined your favourite book that you lent them, it’s not easy to understand why they did it and try to forgive them now, is it? However, those with a high EQ or emotional intelligence can try to understand and forgive their friend for the mistake. It is important to note that just because one has a high EQ doesn’t mean they always end up being understanding and forgiving. Sometimes forgiving someone may become difficult even with someone with a high EQ. 

• Social Skills:

When you have a high EQ or emotional intelligence you tend to empathise with others or put yourself in other’s situations more. This makes communication with others like your friends better. Suppose when your friend apologises to you for ruining the book you lent them and you let them know why you are mad or sad about what they did but also how you understand it was a mistake and tell them how they can make it better, you establish a clear communication with your friend. And the reason why you can do so is because you can empathise with them and probably have a high EQ. Given that having a high EQ means you are aware of your own emotions and can regulate them as well, it helps your friends and other people to understand you better. Hence, having a high EQ improves your social skills.

How can I develop my EQ?

There is no assured or clear-cut way to improve your EQ as it involves your emotions and it’s not easy to understand and regulate them always. But here are a few tricks and techniques that you can use in your day-to-day life to help you improve your EQ or emotional intelligence:

• Maintain a mood journal:

The best way to identify your emotions is to maintain a mood journal. Write down what you’re feeling strongly at certain moments in the day. This will help you understand how you’re processing certain situations with certain emotions. It will increase your self-awareness about your emotions and over a period of time you may not need the journal as you can identify your emotions that well. 

• When you feel negative emotions find a creative outlet:

It’s often easier to feel like crashing and throwing things or doing something destructive to yourself or others when you are experiencing a negative emotion like sadness or anger. But this is not a healthy way to cope with such negative emotions. The healthiest way to deal with negative emotions is by doing something creative or productive. Instead of throwing or breaking your new toy, you can try making a drawing or painting that shows how you’re feeling at that moment. This will help you improve your emotional self-regulation skills.

• Ask Ask Ask:

Nobody is born with a lot of empathy in them and it’s not easy to do so either. But one way you can develop empathy is by asking the other person how they are feeling and why they are feeling so. It’s only when you ask will you be able to understand them and their situation better. And gradually with time, you will be able to develop your empathy for others and get better at your social skills.

• Try to find out why you want to achieve something:

Instead of trying hard to achieve something because you will get a prize or praise, sit and think about why you want to achieve something. Do you want to score better in your exams to just receive praise from others? Or do you want to do it for the gold medal? Or do you want to do it to see how much you have improved as compared to the last exam? Try to find out why it matters to you.

Afterword

EQ or emotional intelligence is often ignored and is considered the same as IQ. Hence, many believe that if you have a high IQ then you have a high EQ as well. But it’s not always the case. EQ requires you to understand certain areas of the human mind and emotions for which there is no guidebook or proper formula. It takes time and a lot of patience but once you are able to gain a higher emotional intelligence your life becomes easier and enriching in the long run.