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Stupa-Art: Visual Poetry of Buddhist Ideals in Stone
Discover Stupa Art, stone structures, symbols of Buddhist teachings, spirituality, and the egalitarian spirit of early Buddhism.

Historically, Indian art is marked by wealthy patrons and monarchs who built grand monuments for fame and religious merit. In contrast, during the early Buddhist period, ordinary people such as housewives, fishermen, gardeners, merchants, and bankers were central to constructing monuments called “stupas”. The term “stupa” is derived from Sanskrit, meaning “to gather” and “to add.” It can also refer to a lock of hair, the top of the head, a wreath of flowers, or a stack or pile of soil or bricks. The stupas were significant because they were the first major Indian artworks constructed using durable stone rather than more short-lived materials. Ordinary people drove this major innovation by collectively donating to build Buddhist stupas and early cave monasteries.
Origin and Historical Context
The origins of the stupa can be traced back to ancient India. Initially, they served as simple burial mounds or reliquaries for the remains of the Buddha and other revered figures. Over time, the stupa evolved into a complex symbol imbued with deep religious significance. The most famous example is the Great Stupa at Sanchi, commissioned by Emperor Ashoka in the 3rd century BCE. It remains a beacon of Buddhist art and architecture even today.
Stupas have since spread across Asia, from the towering structures of Borobudur in Indonesia to the ornate stupas of Tibet and the minimalist forms in Japan. Each region has adapted the stupa to match its own artistic and cultural traditions. However, the core symbolism – representing the Buddha’s enlightened state – has remained unchanged.
These structures not only served as significant religious markers but also functioned as focal points for communal worship and pilgrimage. They reflect the collective devotion and egalitarian spirit of the early Buddhist laity, who resisted hierarchy and sought to uphold the Buddha’s original egalitarian vision.
At first, stupas were just places to enshrine the Buddha’s relics. Over time, they also became shrines for the remains of the Buddha’s followers. Eventually, the stupas themselves became objects of worship. Before Ashoka’s reign, people had already built eight stupas dedicated to the Buddha at different sites. Each of them connected to a significant moment in his life. Some stupas, like the Great Stupa in Sanchi, India, or the intricately designed Boudhanath Stupa in Kathmandu, Nepal, are grand and lavish, while others are simpler and understated.
Symbolism
By studying the Sanchi Buddhist temple, historians have uncovered the deep symbolism and significance of early Buddhist art. The artistic expressions of these early devotees showcased their commitment to Buddhism’s central tenets and captured the Buddha’s dual nature – both human and divine.
Art historian J. Irwin explains that early stupas had two main parts: a central pillar rising from the ground and a dome-like roof called the anda or “egg.” These structures formed a Cosmogram, representing the cosmic order, which was imposed on the land where the stupa was built. Irwin emphasizes that the central pillar, known as the yupa or Inda-khila, had deep cosmogonic and religious significance.
Originally made of wood, this pillar symbolized the Axis Mundi. The Axis Mundi connects to the World Tree and World Pillar, symbols that represent the link between heaven and Earth. The orientation of the Axis Mundi to the four cardinal directions symbolised the unity of space and time. This allowed worshippers to align themselves with the cosmic cycle.
Irwin further notes that some stupas were metaphorically surrounded by water, symbolising the Cosmic Waters. The metaphorical symbol reinforces the idea of the stupa as a microcosm—a dynamic representation of the universe’s creation. The ancient Vedic text, the Rigveda, presents the idea that the stupa’s dome represents the Primordial Mound formed from the cosmic waters. In the early days, ordinary people worshipped stupas. After the Buddha’s death, they saw the stupa as a way to honour him and earn good karma since he was no longer physically present. Over time, the stupa became a symbol representing the departed Buddha and Buddhists. It focused on incorporating the Buddha’s physical remains within these structures.
Structure and Meaning
The Buddhist stupa represents the core teachings of Buddhism. It encourages practitioners to understand that life involves suffering. But this can be overcome by changing one’s perspective. By following the Buddha’s teachings, people can gain deeper insight, manage their thoughts and actions better, and find inner peace and harmony. The stupa’s design and purpose help practitioners recognise the impermanent nature of life – that desires, fears, and grief are temporary. This allows them to value these aspects without becoming overly attached. Gathering and focusing their energy at the stupa can help practitioners centre and uplift themselves through rituals.
The stupa’s design is meant to inspire the mind. Its tall spire, called the yasti, represents the axis mundi, the centre of the Earth around which the universe turns. It also symbolises the World Tree, found in many cultures, with roots deep in the Earth and branches reaching up to the sky. Around the yasti stands a square gate known as the harmika, and above it are parasols that symbolise protection, grandeur, and the Buddha himself. The stupa’s large dome rises from the central spire to a square base. This is occasionally enclosed by a wall with four gates facing the cardinal directions. These directions represent four important moments in Buddha’s life:
- East: Buddha’s birth
- South: Buddha’s enlightenment
- West: Buddha’s first teaching
- North: Buddha’s final passing away (Nirvana)
Symbolism of Stupa Architecture

Credits: World History Encyclopaedia
The parts of the stupa’s architecture have deep symbolic meaning. They guide followers toward a spiritual understanding of the universe. This profound Buddhist belief is shown in different aspects of the stupa’s design:
- Anda: The stupa’s dome, or anda, is circular, symbolising infinity and continuity. In Indian art, the circle represents the eternal and divine movement of the heavens. The circular design of the stupa is a metaphor for the endless nature of Nirvana. This idea relates to the Mandala, which represents a sacred space, and the Chakra, which symbolises the divine order of the universe.
- Harmika: The harmika is the square section connecting the stupa’s circular base to its upper levels. In Buddhist art, the harmika symbolises the heavenly realm above the physical world. The square shape represents stability, solidity, and the boundaries of the Earth, while the circle signifies the infinite nature of the universe.
- Yasti: The central axis, known as the yasti, represents the cosmic axis around which the universe revolves. This axis serves as a connection between the Earth and the heavens, symbolising the unity of the cosmos. Additionally, the yasti is associated with the mythology of the cosmic serpent, Ananta, whose infinite nature mirrors the eternal qualities of the universe.
- Chatraveli: The umbrellas, or chatraveli, placed atop the yasti represent respect and safeguarding. These umbrellas, traditionally linked to esteemed individuals, have become symbols of the three core aspects of Buddhism: the Buddha, dharma (the teachings), and sangha (the community).
- Palisades: The fences surrounding the stupa are based on ancient Indian traditions of enclosing sacred spaces. The stone palisades around the Sanchi Stupa drew inspiration from wooden fences that once protected holy sites, evoking the ancient symbol of the swastika and the protective barriers used by farmers to safeguard their livestock.
Conclusion
The Buddhist stupa is a remarkable architectural structure and a piece of art that visually expresses the core principles and beliefs of Buddhism. It captures the essence of Buddhist teachings through symbols in a timeless and accessible form. The stupa serves as a reminder of the path to enlightenment, encouraging practitioners to engage with the Buddha’s teachings through contemplation and ritual practice.
HeARTful Living
Gratitude: How Appreciation Transforms Mental Health
Appreciation and gratitude go a long way, especially in managing your mental health, here’s your guide to understanding its depths!

Gratitude, a fundamental human emotion, has gained increasing attention in psychological research for its impact on mental health and well-being. Defined as the recognition and appreciation of positive aspects of life, gratitude is more than just saying “thank you”, it is a deeper, cognitive-emotional process that fosters positive emotions, enhances interpersonal relationships and contributes to psychological resilience. While gratitude has been a long-standing topic among religious and philosophical studies, it has contemporarily stepped into the world of psychology in recent years. This article explores the depths of gratitude, its psychological mechanisms, its effects on mental health and its application in therapeutic settings with a case vignette to illustrate the significance of gratitude.
Psychological Foundations of Gratitude
Gratitude has been studied in multiple perspectives under psychology including cognitive psychology, positive psychology and social psychology.
Gratitude in Positive Psychology
Positive Psychology, pioneered by Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, emphasises human strengths and virtues that contribute to well-being. It serves as an integral part of positive psychology as it promotes emotions, enhances life satisfaction and counteracts negative thought patterns. Studies by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough (2003) show that individuals who practice gratitude experience increased happiness, reduced depression and greater life satisfaction.
Gratitude in Cognitive Psychology
From a cognitive psychology perspective, gratitude is known to shape thought patterns. It influences mental frameworks by shifting focus from deficiencies, which is what you lack, to abundance. The cognitive-behavioural model suggests that negative thought patterns contribute to emotional distress. It challenges these patterns by redirecting attention toward positive life experiences, fostering an adaptive mindset that can counteract anxious and depressive symptoms.
Gratitude as a Social Emotion
Gratitude is also profoundly a social emotion, reinforcing prosocial behaviours and strengthening social bonds. Research suggests that it increases trust, cooperation and reciprocity in relationships. Expressing gratitude can improve interpersonal connections, leading to stronger social support networks that act as protective tools against stress and mental illness.
The Neuroscience of Gratitude
Advancements in neuroscience have revealed that gratitude engages brain regions associated with emotional regulation and reward processing. Functional MRI (fMRI) studies indicate that gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex, associated with decision-making and emotional regulation, as well as the anterior cingulate cortex, which is involved in emotional processing. Additionally, it stimulates the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, both of which are involved in positive mood regulation. These findings suggest that gratitude has a biological basis for its effects on mental health.
The Impact of Gratitude on Mental Health
Depression
Depression is characterised by persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest and negative cognitive biases. People struggling with depression often focus on what’s going wrong with their lives. Gratitude helps shift this focus by highlighting positive aspects, no matter how small. Studies have shown that people who practice it regularly experience fewer negative symptoms.
Anxiety
Gratitude can help manage anxiety, which are recurring thoughts of worry, by promoting a sense of control and reducing uncertainty. Gratitude-based interventions have shown to lower negative feelings by bringing us to the present and reminding us of the good things of our lives.
Stress Management
Stress can be overwhelming, making it hard to think clearly and stay positive. Gratitude can serve as a stress buffer by shifting focus from stressors to positive experiences. Studies have shown that individuals who actively practice gratitude help them feel more in control and are better at handling difficult situations.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem plays a crucial role in mental health as it is the primary factor in the perception of self and others. Gratitude enhances self-esteem by promoting a sense of worthiness and appreciation for one’s achievements and relationships. When individuals acknowledge positive aspects of their lives, they develop a healthier self-concept eventually reducing feelings of inadequacy and doubt.
How To Practice Gratitude In Daily Life
Gratitude can be practiced by anyone and it does not take much time to make in a day. Here are ways to build gratitude in daily life:
Gratitude Journaling
Gratitude Journaling is a simple yet effective way in which you can write down things you are grateful for daily. This practice enhances your positive emotions, reduces symptoms of depression and improves overall well-being. Journaling helps you reframe negative experiences by focusing on the positive aspects of your life.
Gratitude Letters
Writing gratitude letters to express appreciation to others can strengthen relationships and enhance emotional well-being. Writing a letter to someone who has positively impacted your life can be a powerful experience. Even if you would choose to not send it to them, writing it can help you feel more connected and appreciative.
Mindfulness and Gratitude Practices
Being mindful of your surroundings and being aware of your emotions can create a sense of peace, by integrating this with gratitude practices like reflection of the day, meditation and expressing gratitude to others, can help boost your mood and make the next day better.
A Story of Gratitude: Harley’s Journey
Harley, a 32-year-old man, felt stuck in the sadness of a painful breakup. He constantly blamed himself and struggled with low self-esteem. He started to isolate himself from his friends, and family and found it hard to enjoy life.
His therapist recommended him strongly, to write at least three things he’s grateful for, every single day. At first, he found it difficult to do so, but over time, he started to notice small positive moments like a friend checking in or the beauty of the sunset.
The therapist also encouraged him to write a gratitude letter to a close friend who had supported him throughout. When Harley delivered the letter, he felt a deep sense of connection and appreciation.
After several months of practising gratitude, Harley felt a shift. He started to focus less on his pain and more on the good things in his life. His mood improved, and he reconnected with family and friends as he regained confidence in himself. Gratitude didn’t erase his struggles but it helped him see life from a new perspective.
Gratitude is a simple but powerful tool that can improve mental health by reducing stress, anxiety and depression while increasing happiness and resilience. It helps us shift our focus from what’s missing in our lives to what’s already present, making it easier to find joy and meaning.
By incorporating gratitude into daily routines, whether through journaling, expressing thanks or simply appreciating small moments, anyone can experience mental health benefits. Just like Harley, practising gratitude can help transform the way we think and feel, leading to a happier healthier life.
HeARTful Living
Rest : The Art of Doing Nothing
Discover why rest is vital for mental well-being in 2025 and how embracing stillness can transform your life.

The world is increasingly becoming a race, and the emphasis on productivity, activity, and performance seems overwhelming. Pressures arise from work demands, social expectations, and other factors that continually instruct us to keep going, irrespective of the consequences. In the run-up to 2025, it is increasingly acknowledged that rest is not merely a desire but an imperative to sustain one’s mental health. The practice of doing nothing- in other words, the practice of resting, was increasingly viewed as a means of rejuvenating oneself and a source of improved well-being and, ultimately, an enhanced quality of life.
The Cultural Shift Toward Rest
For decades, the idea of rest was associated with laziness, reflecting weakness or low ambition. This was a powerful mindset present among the cultures of many nations, especially in high-pressure environments such as workplaces, schools, and social media. However, this view is slowly changing, with the realisation that it is essential to be still, relax, and not do anything. Such cultural change especially hits home even harder now after the pandemic, which drove innumerable people to rethink their work-life balance and mental health priorities.
As 2025 beckons, a visible paradigm shift towards recognising rest from being a luxury to an essential aspect of sustainable productivity, creativity, and emotional stability has emerged. Many experts argue that rest is not just good for us; it is necessary for mental and physical health.
Mental Health and Rest: A Crucial Connection
Rest is not simply inactivity; it is a phase in which the mind and body recuperate, heal, and regenerate. Our brain needs stillness to process information, build memories, and restore energy. Ignoring the necessity of rest and recovery often leads to chronic stress, burnout, and anxiety.
Studies are consistent that lack of sleep and continuous stress lead to actual damage to good mental health: depression, anxiety, and even reduced cognitive abilities. As people take a deep nap, meditate, or focus on living in the moment, their brains are finally given a break from overstimulation, which modern life often puts up. The increasing awareness of mental health in 2025 indicates how pivotal physical and psychological rest is to overall well-being.
The Science Behind Doing Nothing
Doing nothing has been seen as a period of brain recovery time. Neuroscientists have studied the idle time of the brain. Evidence recognises that rest periods might engage the brain’s default mode network (DMN), active during creativity, emotional processing, and memory consolidation. In other words, doing nothing supports the brain’s natural processes-including mental clarity and emotional equilibrium.
That is why a short “idle” moment, a purposeless walk or a sit-in stillness can be so decisive. Rather than feeling guilty-noshing that all-important productive time has slipped away, those moments let the brain respite to process some emotion and gear up for another round of action. In 2025, accepting rest may be one of the better strategies to help the brain act smoothly and improve emotional resilience.
Practical Ways to Incorporate Rest
While the idea of doing nothing seems easy in theory, it can be challenging to slow down in practice. Packed with commitments and many of us permanently plugged into our devices, it’s often difficult to disengage from the world. That said, there are a few practical ways to create more space for rest within your routine without radically changing your style of living.
- Schedule Unplugged Time: Set aside some chunks of your day for unplugging. This means no email, social media, or just quiet time.
- Practice Mindfulness or Meditation: A few minutes each day spent in meditation, focusing on breath alone, is highly restorative for the brain.
- Take Short Naps: A short power nap may take somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes, refresh the brain, and restore focus, creativity, and mood.
- Indulge in Passive Hobbies: Passive hobbies like reading, listening to music or even watching people provide the brain with refreshing eco-therapy.
- Sleep: Make sure you do everything possible to sleep restful hours with proper quality sleep. Sleep is the kind of rest that is most efficient for a brain.
The Social Stigma of Rest: Breaking Free
One of the barriers to embracing rest as a mental health priority is the social stigma surrounding idleness. In many cultures, people are often judged for taking breaks or relaxing too much. This societal expectation to always be busy can lead to feelings of guilt when we take time to rest.
However, as the conversation around mental health evolves in 2025, this stigma is starting to dissipate. Influential voices in wellness, psychology, and even corporate leadership are increasingly championing the importance of rest. The idea that rest can fuel greater productivity, innovation, and personal satisfaction is gaining ground. As we prioritise self-care, the notion that rest is a sign of laziness is slowly being replaced with an understanding that it is an essential part of a healthy and balanced life.
Embracing Rest as a Mental Health Priority
The further we go into 2025, the more significant becomes the call for prioritising rest. “The art of doing nothing” is neither ignoring responsibilities nor developing laziness; instead, it’s permitting ourselves to attain some recharging to be ever more present, focused, and resilient in each aspect of life. In such a world of unending movement, nothing is better than taking a moment to be still to keep itself one sane.
HeARTful Living
Family Therapy in India: Bridging Bonds and Healing Together
Exploring the growing significance of family therapy in India and its role in strengthening relationships and bonds

The family has been India’s heart and soul of values and culture. Interdependent relationships have been the natural support systems since joint families. Still, with modernisation, especially urbanisation and nuclear families with fast-paced lives, families interact differently today. Communication gaps, generational differences, and stress have spawned conflicts that can’t be tackled with informal means. This is where family therapy comes in, providing structured approaches to addressing the problems of emotions and psychology within families.
What is Family Therapy?
Family therapy is a form of psychotherapy that aims to resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen relationships within a family. It understands that individual problems often arise from the more significant dynamics of the family and works to address the issues collectively. It is unlike individual therapy, where several members are involved in the process, and each gets a chance to express their feelings and work toward mutual understanding.
The Unique Context of Family Therapy in India
In India it naturally carries a different flavour due to its strong social and cultural base. Traditional and modern streams sometimes conflict with each other. For example, children usually rebel against their parents over careers, marriage, or parental issues. Some of the most significant advantages are that the stigma about mental illness is still very prevalent in most areas, and this creates a heavy barrier for people to approach the family for help. It helps to overcome this challenge by providing an open space for discussion.
Common Issues Treated in Family Therapy
Parent-Child Conflicts: Differences in values, expectations, and communication styles can strain parent-child relationships.
Marital Struggles: Problems like lack of communication, infidelity, or differing life goals are addressed through therapy.
Generational Gaps: Therapy helps bridge the divide between older and younger generations, fostering mutual understanding.
Mental Health Challenges: Family therapy supports individuals with mental health conditions by involving their families in the healing process.
Life Transitions: Divorce, death, or relocation can be a disruption to family harmony, which therapy helps to restore.
Techniques Used in Family Therapy
Indian therapists use a range of culturally sensitive approaches. Some of the most commonly used techniques include:
Structural Therapy: This is a reorganisation of family roles and boundaries.
Systemic Therapy: This studies how behaviour patterns affect the whole family.
Narrative Therapy: This encourages family members to reframe negative narratives about themselves or others.
Psychoeducation: It educates families about mental health issues to create empathy and understanding.
Benefits of Family Therapy
It connects families to enhance trust, communication, and emotions. It tries to solve a deep-seated conflict between parents and their kids and helps bind them closer and more muscular by maintaining a non-confrontational relationship. Therapy serves as an avenue for mental illnesses, giving better care and taking care of one’s child. In return, it assists in the better resolution of a conflict that otherwise would be cumbersome to resolve afterwards.
Difficulties in the Adoption of Family Therapy in India
It is not an easy approach in India. People are pretty discouraged towards therapies because mental illness stigmatises the person’s mind, and hence, families are reluctant to bring patients to therapy. Secondly, people are unaware of the availability of family therapy. Many are unaware of the accessibility issues in rural areas and the scarcity of mental health professionals in these areas. However, it is being eased with increasing awareness campaigns and online therapy options.
As the nation begins to talk more about mental health, family therapy is likely to play a massive role in making familial bonds stronger. Schools, workplaces, and community organisations can also contribute by promoting awareness and providing access to therapy resources. Most importantly, the family has to take the first step toward open communication and professional help when required.
To Recap
Family therapy is not just an intervention for clinical issues but a potential catalyst for regaining harmony and understanding within a family. An intervention that addresses conflicts and then strengthens communication enables the family to deal with the confusion of modern life amid culture. In the coming days, with the stigma over mental health reducing, this approach will, without doubt, become a vital component of Indian society’s journey towards emotional and psychological well-being.
Knowpaca
All About Mental Health

When we talk about being healthy, we always tend to mean physical health. This means that if you have a healthy body, then you’re perfectly fine and healthy. But is a healthy body all that is truly needed? What if you have a healthy body but don’t feel good or your mood is off? What if you have a healthy body but everything irritates you? What if you have a healthy body but don’t feel like doing anything that used to make you happy earlier? What if you are constantly feeling bad? Then is it alright to just be physically healthy? Caring about your mind is what is called taking care of your mental health.
Why is it important to take care of your mental health?
When you get hurt you bruise and bleed and it is visible. But when it comes to not feeling that great mentally you don’t visibly bruise or get hurt. And that is exactly why it is more important to look after your mental health because you can’t see it but you can feel the pain all the same. Remember the way you felt when your friend ignored you and didn’t talk to you? The feeling of doing something wrong when you don’t know what it is? The feeling of being so lonely that you start thinking that maybe you deserve it in some way? The feeling of doing your best but never getting the praise that you know you deserve, that’s when it hurts your mind. But you can’t physically show it to anyone as it’s not visible to anyone but you. And that’s why taking care of your mental health becomes all the more important because only you can see it and seek help when required.
What are the signs of bad mental health?
Though it is not always possible to notice specific signs for specific mental health unless you are trained in the same, like a psychologist or a psychiatrist is, there are a few things you can look at to understand when your mental health or the mental health of someone closer to you starts getting affected.
Feeling Sad:
If you feel sad a lot or too often then it is a sign that something is not okay with you or your surroundings. Though feeling sad is normal (hey we love sadness from Inside Out!) feeling sad often or for too long means something needs to be done as you deserve to be happy too. When you face such long sadness you must try to identify what could probably cause this sadness. WARNING: When you are trying to find out what made you sad it won’t be easy or feel good but once you find it you will feel better soon as now you know what it is that makes you feel sad.
Feeling Angry:
Getting angry at things that irritate you is very common. But if everything around you seems to anger you or annoy you then it is not good or normal. This could also be a sign of something affecting your mental health. Although we do love Anger from Inside Out but if he appears more often and doesn’t allow your other emotions to have a space to express themselves then it becomes an issue. When this happens next time try to search and find the source of your anger and annoyance and maybe you may just find a solution to your anger.
Losing Interest in Things You Loved:
Imagine you love writing but all of a sudden the very idea of writing makes you feel tired and annoyed. You love dancing because it makes you feel so happy but now all it does is just tire you every time you take a step forward. Getting bored of doing something you love for a while is fine but completely losing interest in something that you love dearly is probably a sign of something bothering you mentally. In situations like this sit-down and try to figure out what exactly you love about an activity, be it dancing, or writing, or singing and the next time you try to do that thing, try to do it in such a way that these exact things that made you fall in love with that activity take centre stage. For example, if you like singing because it feels good to hit those high notes, next time pick a song that has a lot of high notes that are arranged in a way that you like. If you like writing because you can bring animals to life, write a story for animals like The Jungle Book.
Not Concentrating:
We all love to daydream, and sometimes, it is hard to focus on a certain task. But if you find it hard to concentrate on most days, even after days of rest, and you find yourself spacing out a lot while completing a task, then it might be a bit of a concern unless the task is boring. You probably find it hard to concentrate because you are already concentrating on something else, in which case, first resolve the previous problem before moving forward to another one.
Worrying Over Small Things:
Getting worried about something is completely normal. Just like the function of Fear from Inside Out, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. But if every small thing causes you worry, it’s a sign that your mental health is being affected.
Not Eating Properly:
Imagine a piping hot plate of momos, or a delicious bowl of ice cream sundae, or maybe a big juicy pizza. Doesn’t it make you feel hungry? That’s fine because probably you’re not a big fan of momos or ice cream or pizza. Or you probably just had food and hence don’t feel so hungry. But if you don’t feel hungry in general when you look at a variety of food then it is concerning. Many times if we are not feeling good we end up not eating properly or don’t feel like eating at all. This is another sign for you to notice to see if somebody is not mentally well.
How can you take care of your mental health?
Talk It Out:
The simplest way you can ensure you have healthy mental health is by not holding back what is bothering you and letting people you trust know what is bothering you. Everyone has those days when something doesn’t feel right but rather than suffering through it all by yourself you can share. Sometimes hearing others’ opinions can help you see the problem from a completely different angle. Always remember that: “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.
Eat Healthy & Sleep Well:
Eating a balanced diet that sometimes includes your favourite treats and sleeping for 7-8 hours every day ensures that your body has enough energy to battle any problem. Though eating and sleeping may not exactly make your mental health problems go away, they will give your brain enough fuel to run like a super-fast car.
Exercise More:
Exercising and staying active helps your body release the happy hormones (dopamine). And with happy hormones your mental health is bound to get better soon. So, don’t forget to go out and play.
Spend Time With People You Love:
Spending time with people you love makes you feel safe just like Nobita feels with Doraemon. And when you feel safe you slowly start feeling more happy. As you feel happier, your mental health also feels better.
Do Mindful Deep-Breathing:
Feeling nervous or upset? Try doing this:
- take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds
- hold it for 4 seconds
- slowly breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds.
This small deep breathing exercise will help you calm down and focus on what’s in front of you. Be mindful of the seconds you are counting. When we feel nervous or upset, we tend to think of too many things at once. By counting the number of seconds, we can focus on one thing, which helps us calm down.
Various Activities You Can Try:
- Gratitude Jar: Write something you are grateful for every day and put it in a jar. Open the jar only when you are feeling really bad. Reading the words on a bad day will help you realise how great things have truly been for you.
- Nature Walk: Take a walk in the park or a forest without any electronic devices to bother you. Focus on the birds and the bees and the clouds and the animals. Try talking to them and who knows you might have a hidden ability to communicate with them just like Snow White.
- Music & Dance: On days when you are too mad or sad at the world turn up the speaker and dance your heart out. The exercise from the dancing will release the happy hormones and who doesn’t love Taylor Swift?
Me Time: Make it a habit to carve out at least an hour or so just for yourself. This time is just for you and you only. This will ensure that you remember what you need and do what you like instead of always trying to do what your friends or siblings like.
You can also try out these various activities to help you feel more relaxed.
Seek Help, Don’t Hesitate
Although the above tips are helpful, if you feel like you are mentally not keeping well no matter how much you try any of these above tips, don’t hesitate to seek help from a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Gone are the days when you are supposed to visit them only when you have gone completely insane. Many psychologists and psychiatrists are trained to help you with your day-to-day problems that become too much for you to handle.
HeARTful Living
The Illusion of Perfection: Overcoming Toxic Perfectionism
Many suffer from thge heavy badge of ‘Perfectionsim’. Dive deep into the world of toxic perfectionism, its impact and more!

Perfectionism can feel like a badge of honor, symbolising diligence, ambition and an unyielding pursuit of excellence. However, when perfectionism turns toxic, it becomes a heavy burden, one that drains joy, fuels anxiety and leads to self-sabotage. Toxic perfectionism is not just about striving for excellence, it’s about an unhealthy fixation on fearlessness, often accompanied by an intense fear of failure and harsh self-criticism.
This article explores the psychological roots of toxic perfectionism, its impact and actionable strategies to let go of this debilitating mindset. To illustrate, case vignette provides practical insights into how these principles can work in real life.
The Psychology of Toxic Perfectionism
Psychologists often differentiate between two types of perfectionism: adaptive perfectionism and maladaptive perfectionism. While adaptive perfectionism involves striving for high standards and personal growth, toxic perfectionism stems from an excessive need for approval, fear of rejection and a belief that worth is contingent upon flawless performance.
Roots of Toxic Perfectionism
Childhood Experiences
Toxic perfectionism often originates in childhood. People raised in environments with overly critical or demanding parents may learn to equate love and acceptance with perfect behaviour. For instance, children who were praised exclusively for achievements, rather than efforts, might internalise the idea that mistakes make them unworthy.
Cognitive Distortions
Toxic perfectionists frequently engage in all-or-nothing thinking. A minor mistake may feel like a catastrophic failure, reinforcing beliefs like “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure”. Over time, this black-and-white thinking erodes self-esteem.
Cultural and Social Influences
Societal norms, social media and workplace cultures that glorify flawlessness exacerbate perfectionist tendencies. Comparisons with idealised portrayals of inadequacy, fueling the cycle of toxic perfectionism.
Psychological Impact of Toxic Perfectionism
Toxic perfectionism is not just a mindset, it’s a pattern of behaviour that can profoundly impact mental health and quality of life.
Anxiety and Depression
The constant fear of making mistakes can lead to heightened anxiety, while persistent feelings of failure and inadequacy can result in depression.
Procrastination
Paradoxically, toxic perfectionists often procrastinate. They delay tasks because they fear work won’t meet their impossibly high expectations. This avoidance exacerbates stress and creates a vicious cycle of guilt and self-blame.
Burnout
The relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to emotional, mental and physical exhaustion. Over time, the burnout erodes motivation and can make even small tasks feel overwhelming.
Strained Relationships
Perfectionists may impose their high standards on others, leading to frustration and conflict in personal and professional relationships. Their fear of vulnerability can also hinder authentic connections.
Breaking Free From Toxic Perfectionism
Letting go of toxic perfectionism requires self-awareness, a willingness to embrace imperfection and deliberate effort to reframe negative thought patterns. Here are seven evidence based strategies to help you break free:
- Redefine Success
Start by redefining success in a way that aligns with your values rather than external standards. Ask yourself “What does a meaningful life look like to me?”. Recognise that success is about progress, growth and fulfilment, not perfection.
- Challenge Negative Thinking
Pay attention to critical self-talk and cognitive distortions. When you catch yourself thinking “I must do this perfectly” counter it with more balanced statements such as, “I’m doing my best and that’s enough”
- Practice Self-Compassion
Kristen Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion defines it as treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. When you make a mistake, remind yourself, “Everyone makes mistakes. This doesn’t define me”.
- Set Realistic Goals
Break large tasks into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate small wins rather than waiting for a perfect outcome. Realistic goals allow you to maintain momentum without overwhelming yourself.
- Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
Shift your perspective on failure. Instead of seeing mistakes as evidence of inadequacy, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. A growth mindset fosters resilience and curiosity.
- Limit Social Comparison
Comparing yourself to others often leads to feelings of inadequacy. Focus on your own journey and progress, rather than measuring yourself against external benchmarks.
- Seek Professional Support
Therapy can be incredibly helpful for addressing the underlying causes of toxic perfectionism. Cognitive-behavioural Therapy (CBT) in particular, is effective in challenging perfectionist beliefs and developing healthier thought patterns.
Case Vignette: Sarah’s Transformation
Sarah, a 30-year old marketing executive, appeared to have it all together. She was admired for her creativity, dedication and ability to deliver high-quality work. However, behind the scenes, Sarah struggled with crippling perfectionism. She spent hours revising presentations, fearing even minor errors. Sarah’s weekends were consumed by work, and she often sacrificed sleep to meet her impossibly high standards.
Over time, Sarah’s health began to decline. She felt anxious, isolated and increasingly irritable. Despite her hard work, she never felt satisfied with her achievements. Concerned about her well-being, Sarah’s manager encouraged her to seek therapy.
Through CBT, Sarah uncovered the roots of her perfectionism, growing up with parents who valued achievement above all else, she had internalised the belief that her worth was tied to being perfect. Her therapist helped her challenge her thoughts like “If I’m not perfect, I’ll fail” and replace them with healthier beliefs such as, “My value is not determined by my performance”
Sarah also began practicing self-compassion and setting boundaries. She learned to submit her work without obsessing over minor details and started celebrating her progress instead of fixating on perceived flaws. Over time, Sarah’s anxiety diminished, and she found a renewed sense of balance and joy in her life.
Letting go of toxic perfectionism is not about lowering your standards or abandoning your goals. Instead, it’s about recognising that perfectionism is an illusion and embracing the messy, imperfect reality of being human.
Cultivating self-compassion, realistic expectations and a growth mindset can help you break free from the cycle of toxic perfectionism. By doing so, you create a space for authenticity, creativity and resilience, qualities that foster true success and well-being.
Ultimately, this journey to overcome toxic perfectionism is about rediscovering your worth, not as a flawless individual, but as a perfectly imperfect human being.
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