In the era of online dating and texting it’s hard to build genuine connections that last beyond your chat room. And more than that the freedom that comes with being able to choose who you want to be with the rising acknowledgment of the LGBTQIA+ movement there’s also the burden that comes with deciding who you associate with. But let me tell you a secret, you don’t necessarily have to decide who you associate with and who you love ASAP. It’s not an assignment or a project, it’s your life so stop putting a deadline on it and just enjoy. It’s okay to be confused, explore and to not know who you love.

Is it okay to be confused?

It is more than okay to be confused. Sexual orientation refers to who you are attracted to whereas gender is a social construct and hence very different from your biological sex and refers to who you identify as, such as male, female, trans, etc. The world of LGBTQIA+ is vast and confusing. It gives you the freedom to associate and identify with a variety of sexual orientations and identities. It gives you the freedom to explore but that doesn’t mean it can’t get confusing. It’s okay to get confused but don’t let it stop you from exploring. 

We know you must have heard the long tales that people have been harping about regarding the LGBTQIA+ movement and about how recent it is, how it is a passing phase, a fad even. But in reality, it has existed even in ancient times in India. Sure, there wasn’t the whole pride march or pride month but there sure were people who deviated from heterosexuality and identified as cisgender and were tolerated and even supported according to many of the ancient texts that are found in India. Rather LGBTQIA+ became a taboo in India with the import of Western ideals and values which saw it as foreign and degrading, and their immediate action was to put a stop to it legally by introducing laws such as Section 377. What you need to understand is that, regardless of what religion you belong to, regardless of whether your religion views homosexuality as a sin or not, it’s okay to question your sexuality. It may go against your religion at one point but at the same time, you need to understand that with time certain things need to evolve as well. Religion exists because it has staunch believers and one of those believers is you. You need religion as much as your religion needs you. At the end of the day, god won’t determine his love for you based on your sexual orientation and identity, after all, god makes everyone in his own reflection, so you being you which may not necessarily align with the majority could be his reflection as well. So stop trying to measure god’s love for you and try to understand yourself a little more.

How do I know that I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community?

It’s okay to be confused about trying to decipher who you love and who you identify with. As much as we would love to, there is no manual or guidelines for figuring out your identity in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Sure you could google and know more about the different sexual orientations and gender identities that people identify with hoping to find who you love and what you are. And most of the time you may succeed. But other times you may still be confused and that’s okay. There is a reason the entire LGBTQIA+ spectrum encourages gender and sexual fluidity and a chance to explore. It’s okay to explore and find out you don’t like certain things and you like certain other things. There is no shame in being confused or choosing to explore. But be aware that if you are in an existing committed relationship you must let your partner know about your wish to explore as they deserve that much honesty from you at the very least. Think of it this way, your partner probably thinks that you are happy with the way things are and has built his/her/their future around you hoping you did or are doing the same. So, when they receive the blow that you may not be sure about the relationship and are still deciding and want to explore, from someone else but you, imagine how devastating it would be. Be honest and open about it from the get-go. They may not be outrightly supportive but their reaction is not in your control, your actions are. You gave them honesty and they didn’t like it but at least you didn’t trap them in a false promise and rather allowed them and yourself to explore and find something more that feels right.

The LGBTQIA+ community is no doubt pretty vast and supportive but you must be aware of the many predators who do exist within the community. Just like the heterosexual and cisgender community the queer community has its fair share of bad apples who will exploit you in your search for identity and love for their selfish gains. And just like the predators in the heterosexual and cisgender community, there is no one way to figure them out. But what you can do instead is be a little sceptical and not so trusting of every person that you meet and be on the lookout for blaring red flags like manipulative tactics, not taking no for an answer, and many more. 

According to psychologist Siddique Ummar, “Many people find out who they identify with by identifying with certain characters in popular culture, and hence figure out their gender identity.” But that need not be the case for you. It could be the stepping stone to figuring out who you love and identify with but not the final step. You need to understand that there exist two kinds of attraction primarily, romantic and sexual. You can be attracted to the same gender sexually and romantically or one gender romantically and another sexually in which case it will be called mixed orientation or cross-orientation and that’s okay. Remember only you get to choose who you love and identify with. Nobody else can determine it for you, so it’s okay, take your time to explore.

Conclusion

It’s not easy trudging forward without knowing what you want or like, but you need to know it’s okay to do so. You are living your life for the first time, you can’t be expected to be sure and know exactly what you want all the time. It’s okay to get confused, fall in love and get your heart broken, but don’t ever let that deter you from exploring and finding out who you really are and what you really want. It’s okay to not know who you love. It’s okay to explore.

Singeetam Srinivasa Rao is a name that embodies versatility and innovation in the world of Indian Cinema. Popularly known as Singeetam, he is a profile every avid film watcher will know of. He is an accomplished Indian Film director, screenwriter, producer, composer, and actor. Singeetam has contributed groundbreaking films to the industry that have left a lasting impact on the industry. With a career that spans several decades, he is rightfully regarded as one of India’s most multifaceted directors.

Early Life

Singeetam was born on September 21, 1931. His journey in the film world began with a stint as an assistant director to the renowned K.V. Reddy from 1955 to 1968. During this time he contributed to iconic films such as “Mayabazar- 1957” and “Jagadeka Veeruni Katha- 1961”, which honed his craft and learning the intricacies of filmmaking.

In 1972, Singeetam made his directorial debut with the Telugu film “Neethi Nijaythi” This was the beginning of his exploration into experimental and socially relevant cinema. His films such as “Dikkarta Parvathi – 1974” garnered critical acclaim and accolades, establishing him as a director with a unique storytelling approach.

Contributions To Cinema

Singeetam’s legacy truly lies in his one-of-a-kind contributions to various genres. He directed films like “Panthulamma”, “Mayuri”, “Anand”, and “Son Of Aladdin”. His films have earned him numerous awards, including two National Film Awards and multiple Nandi Awards. His collaboration with esteemed actors Dr. Rajkumar and Kamal Haasan produced cinematic gems that achieved both commercial success and critical acclaim. With Kamal Haasan he created memorable films like “Pushpaka Vimana” and with Dr. Rajkumar, he created classics such as “Haalu Jenu”. Singeetam’s work in Kannada cinema was equally impressive. He directed the award-winning film “Samskara” and delivered a series of successful films starring Rajkumar. His Kannada ventures such as “Eradu Nakshatragalu” showed his mastery over diverse narratives.

Singeetam’s eye for innovation was evident in his films. “Mayuri” 1984 is a film that celebrated the spirit of dance and garnered accolades globally. “Pushpaka Vimana” 1968, was a ground-breaking dialogue-less film that captivated special mention at the Shanghai Film Festival. He elevated the Indian Film industry’s creative boundaries with science fiction and fantasy genres such as “Aditya 369” 1991 and “Bhairava Dweepam” 1994.

His Legacy

Singeetam’s journey in the world of Indian Cinema has been a trailblazing one. He ventured into uncharted territories, defying stereotypes and creating films that are celebrated for their originality. His legacy is not just his films but also his collaborations with iconic actors and his impact on multiple regional cinemas. He continues to inspire new generations of filmmakers. With the upcoming sequel to “Aditya 369” and a desire to explore new cinematic avenues, his journey continues as a saga of artistic exploration and creative brilliance.

The stories and narratives of the queer community and homosexuality have never found a place in mainstream India. Only recently, one can find stacks of queer and LGBTQ+ books amongst the many fiction and nonfiction paperbacks. Especially in India, the fight for gay rights had been extremely difficult. Considering a time of post 2000s in India, it was impossible to write novels and stories on homosexuality, or for gay writers to write their own memoirs freely and openly lest they be charged under obscenity. Since, the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and eradicating hetero-normativity continues, we’ve rounded up some LGBTQ+ books, by Indian authors, both fiction and nonfiction, from different eras of India, that you must check out to gain insight, learn, unlearn, introspect, and also identify your own selves. 

Kari by Amruta Patil

Kari is an LGBTQ+ graphic fiction novel by Amruta Patil, India’s first female graphic author. The novel follows the visible and hidden struggles of a lesbian couple – Kari (the protagonist) and Ruth. The events unfold in the metropolitan city of Mumbai, highlighting that even the progressive of the cities are deeply hetero-normative. Amruta Patil has used unapologetically raw and powerful illustrations for the novel, which will speak to you louder than words. 

Funny Boy by Shyam Selvadurai

Funny Boy is a LGBTQ+ book, narrating the story of Arjie, born in a wealthy Tamil family, who prefers dressing as a girl and playing with his girl cousins rather than play cricket with his brother. His father sends him to a school which would spark the ‘masculine’ in him. The novel consists of six stories, narrating Arjie’s coming of age and his exploration of his sexuality. All this is present against the background of political unrest in Sri Lanka. Shyam Selvadurai gives a poignant vision of the political and the personal, which will offer you a plethora of socio-political insights.

Lihaaf by Ismat Chugtai

Lihaaf was written in 1942, in unpartitioned India, when the norms of the society were stricter, rigid and even more conservative than what we’ve today. Lihaaf is one of many of Ismat Chugtai’s bold and unapologetic stories. This novel even landed Ismat Chughtai in a criminal offence for ‘obscenity.’ This fiction is written from the point of view of a little girl who visits the household of Begum Jaan and his husband Nawab Sahab. Nawab Sahab, however, stays away from home most of the time, engaged in other businesses. Begum Jaan yearns for a relationship of love in her loneliness. This is when she finds it with a female servant. Since the story is told by the pov of a little girl, Ismat Chughtai, very wittingly uses indirect words and actions to convey the homosexual acts which unfold between the two. 

Loving Women: Being Lesbian in Underprivileged India by Maya Sharma

This nonfiction LGBTQ+ book is a collection of ten stories based on research. These stories are not from the elitist points of view, but Maya Sharma brings the stories of lesbians from the underprivileged sections of India, particularly rural India. The writer tracks how the women’s movement in India has failed to include female sexuality. This is an exceptionally insightful read on homosexuality, with a different research methodology. 

A life Apart by Neel Mukherjee

A Life Apart by Neel Mukherjee is a fiction, a story within a story. Simply stated, it is a story of two migrants. Ritwik is a young gay Indian man travels from India to UK after the death of his parents and takes up a scholarship to study English literature at Oxford. He wants to build his future far from painful memories of Calcutta. During his stay, Ritwik pens down the story of an educated British woman, Miss Gilby, who joins her bureaucrat brother in Raj era Bengal. Against the backdrop of political and social upheaval in Bengal, she takes English tuitions. 

Me Hijra, Me Laxmi by Laxminarayan Tripathi

Me Hijra, me Laxmi, is a memoir (nonfiction) of Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, the eldest son of an orthodox Brahmin family, who became Laxmi, a hijra. Laxmi was born a male with male organs. At a tender age, she realised her needs as a woman. There was agony and trauma because she felt her body betraying her own self. This first hand perspective educates the readers about the Hijra community, and the anguish and the difficulties they go through. 

The Pregnant King by Devdutt Pattnaik

This LGBTQ+ book by Devdutt Pattanaik has is about king Yavanasha, who accidentally drinks a magic potion that was meant for his wives, and ends up becoming pregnant. The novel poses a question – who is Yavanasha now? The story blurs the line between genders, between woman and man, and explores the question of sexual identities.

Same-Sex Love in India: Readings from Literature and History by Ruth Vanita & Saleem Kidwai

Same-Sex Love in India presents an array of writings on homosexuality and same-sex love from over 2000 years of Indian literature from a myriad of scriptures and texts from Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, and modern fictional traditions. These collections of writings testify to the presence of same-sex love in various forms, depicting the gender and sexual fluidity in ancient India. Through this, it attempts to discard homophobia as a ‘western influence.’ Same Sex Love in India is one of the most revered nonfiction reads on LGBTQ+ community.

Mohanaswamy by Vasudhendra

Mohanaswamy is one of the most bold LGBTQ+ books in the Kannada literary scene. It was released in 2013. The book is semi-autobiographical since this was a coming out of the closet for Vasudhendra, the author, too. Mohanaswamy, is the story of exploration of sexuality, relationships, and life events in the face of being gay. The book highlights the harsh realities of being queer in India. This LGBTQ+ book is divided into short stories.

Our Lives, Our Words: Telling Aravani Stories by A. Revathi

A. Revathi brings the voices of the marginalised communities of trans women in this nonfiction LGBTQ+ book. The Hijra community has been perceived as objects of amusement and metaphors. They lack a concrete history and visibility in society. This documentation of trans women from Karnataka and Tamil Nadu brings forth first hand perspectives and experiences of the Hijra community – the agony, anguish, childhood trauma, and the rejection they have faced from the society. 

The Boy in the Cupboard by Harshala Gupte (Illustrated by Priya Dali)

The Boy in the Cupboard by Harshala Gupte is a LGBTQ+ book for children. It is difficult to find children’s fiction discussing sexuality, inclusivity, homosexuality and queerness in such a refreshing way. It is a heartfelt story of Karan, who, when not in school, is in his cupboard. Even while playing with his friends, he’d come back soon and be in his cupboard. The beautiful illustrations depict a hopefulness for inclusivity and is an amazing way to initiate a conversation with both adults and children on homosexuality.

Art has always had a political undertone. When you really look beyond the aspects of form, medium or, even, style, the core idea, behind it all, is intrinsically tied to storytelling. It seems appropriate, then, that the LGBTQIA+ community has been using art to tell their personal stories and drive political movements since time immemorial.

Modern history has, of course, borne witness to several works that are central to the queer community. However, it’s bordering on being erroneous to assume that queer art is a contemporary effort. You only have to look at Ancient Greek or Indian literature and art to see the truth in this statement.

The critical point of difference between ancient and modern queer art is that the latter is imbued with a focused intention. While ancient queer artistic works leaned towards the idea of ‘creativity above everything else’, modern artwork, centred around the LGBTQIA+ community, has always attempted to strike a balance between ‘creativity’ and ‘storytelling’.

That’s a crucial point to note before going any further. After all, the entire point of this article is to celebrate the manner in which the LGBTQIA+ community has effectively deployed art as a tool to reform socio-political views.

Going back a century, archaic laws and repressive policies were still in effect, predominantly being used to oppress any minority groups that didn’t adhere to heteronormative ideas. Ever since then, the LGBTQIA+ community has addressed these issues, blatantly or otherwise. From photography to abstract painting, queer art has been consistently working towards giving the community its rightful voice back.

Frida Kahlo has been a prominent figure in this effort. Her 1940 piece, titled ‘Self-Portrait with Cropped Hair’, was an iconic statement at the time. Depicting the artist in a suit, with her freshly chopped hair strewn all about her, the painting was instrumental in driving home the idea that gender was a fluid concept. Back then, it was almost an unimaginable thing for a woman to wear a suit, let alone sport cropped hair.

Fast forward to the roaring 60s, Diane Arbus began to get her photographs published in the leading magazines at the time. Arbus, who was bisexual, spent a lot of time capturing the experiences of marginalized groups. It was, perhaps, a shocking experience for the masses to see pictures celebrating drag queens on the issues of esteemed magazines. That, alone, served as a significant avenue for the general public to get acquainted with what was wholly ‘alien’ to them. The option of just flat out refusing to acknowledge the queer community wasn’t available anymore.

The 60s also marked a shift in the social perception of the LGBTQIA+ community. The Stonewall riots in ’69, for instance, had a massive impact on the queer community’s visibility. Up until that point, comparatively speaking, there hadn’t been such an event that demonstrated the community’s unwillingness to bear the intolerance directed towards them.

Still, it’s interesting to note that there was a certain discrepancy when it came to the queer community itself. For example, Yves Saint-Laurent, the co-founder of the fashion label ‘Saint-Laurent’, never had to deny his sexuality in the first place. Even so, this discrepancy did not translate to complacency. As a matter of fact, Saint-Laurent’s ‘Rive Gauche’ collection was an attempt to even out the playing field when it came heteronormative fashion.

Queer Art, perhaps, had never been more vital than it was during the AIDS pandemic in the 80s. At the time, medical concern devolved into unfounded dogma that eventually lead to the LGBTQIA+ community being unfairly stigmatized. There are plenty of artistic pieces that fought back against this. Even to this day, mainstream entertainment media continues to explore the circumstances surrounding that period.

A notable piece that deserves a mention, in this context, is Keith Vaughan’s ‘Drawing of Two Men Kissing’. While the piece, itself, was finished sometime before ’73, it did hold immense significance to the queer community during that time.

It would, indeed, take more than a simple article to comprehensively examine the LGBTQIA+ community’s relationship with art. It doesn’t, however, take more than a minute to acknowledge the difference it has made over the years.

The one thing that serves as a hopeful beacon is the fact that, considering everything, Queer Art is still in its nascent stage. Think about it. The artists who came before had to exclusively focus on fighting prejudice against the community. Now, with a growing support building behind them, queer artists can also channel their efforts into sharing experiences through their preferred artistic medium.

There is so much that we have yet to see. And, without any doubt whatsoever, all of it is
going to be truly beautiful.

Conversations in India are always a tempestuous thing. More often than not, archaic notions and beliefs tend to overshadow an objective perspective. 

In the context of communities and groups that differ from the so-called normative sphere, a typical response to any discussion surrounding them is: Haven’t we already become more tolerant? Well, that’s not really the case. Moreover, tolerance isn’t the same as acceptance.

Considering how long the LGBTQIA+ community has faced bigotry and persecution in this country, it’s crucial to understand that conversations around the queer experience will never stop being relevant. After all, the country, as a collective, has repressed their voice for an unimaginable length of time. It’s only right that we, now, listen.

What are some platforms, then, that let us hear what the LGBTQIA+ community has to say? Off the top, theatre is one such example. The obvious artistic nature of the platform meshes incredibly well with the voice of the queer artists and performers. It lets them say the things that needed to be said for the longest time. More importantly, the platform allows for the disclosure of our country’s ancient ties with the LGBTQIA+ community.

Consider this example. A little over two years ago, the G5A centre saw a beautiful play being enacted on its stage. The name of the production was ‘Even Mists Have Silver Linings’. An original play, the production was a glimpse into the authentic experiences of the queer community in this country.

What is more interesting, however, is how the audience reacted to the play. Before being allowed to see it, each audience member had to partake in a survey that primarily measured the audience’s knowledge and attitude towards the LGBTQIA+ community. 

The results of that survey showed that the audience rated the performances of the actors above all else. The information presented through the story came in right after that. This is fascinating for two reasons. 

First, it goes to show that Indian society, as of now, is receptive to learning more about the queer experience in this country. Second, the aesthetic experience or the format in which information is presented is significant as well.

Still, ask yourself this. Should the LGBTQIA+ community shape and mould their stories in a way that is palatable to us? Wouldn’t that detract from their experiences?

A more nuanced way to go about it would be to shape the audience first. Indeed, stories tend to lose their value when being forced into a certain box. This is even more relevant in the context of human experiences. Ideally, we should all be working towards a place where people are allowed to express themselves in a way that is true to who they are as human beings and individuals.

Don’t get it wrong here. ‘Even Mists Have A Silver Lining’ was a massive success. What’s more, it was a landmark in theatre production and original storytelling. The one place that needs more work, in relation to the play, is our own perspective.

In the context of theatre and the queer community, we need to look past formats and other elements such as performance quality. It’s essential you understand why.

The LGBTQIA+ community has several stories that they need to tell. Even more, all of them need to be heard. What theatre is doing for these stories is something that is unprecedented. It’s giving these human experiences a voice. More importantly, as a visual platform, it’s making that voice difficult to ignore any longer.

When we prescribe more significance to secondary elements rather than focusing on what is actually being said, we are, essentially, pulling back on being more inclusive. 

Think about it. What you read and hear may be forgotten after a period of time. Books need to be re-read and understood once more. Songs need to be heard again. A picture, however, will burn itself in our memory, washing away any ignorance that we could hold on to.

Theatre does exactly that for the LGBTQIA+ community. It lends an image to decades of untold tales. It’s only right then that we muster the courage to look.