It’s comparatively easy to love someone else. That’s the reason you see your favourite characters in books and movies falling unconditionally in love with each other. That’s the reason you find yourself crushing so badly on that person you barely interacted barring a few instances. Loving others comes so naturally to us that we are ready to shower them with everything that we have got even though all we get in return are mere glances and smiles. Surprisingly it doesn’t stop us or deter us from showering them with love rather it motivates us to work that much harder to crack that smile as consistently promoted by movies and books. Yet one bad day or week and we are ready to give up on ourselves. Does that even make any sense?

Why do we find it hard to love ourselves?

For some, it’s because they think somebody is better than them, for some they think they are not smart enough, for some it’s their body and how it looks, for some it’s their personality. The answer to this question is highly subjective and can range from just one reason to multiple. But weirdly we never think of these attributes when it comes to the person we fall for. There comes a point where even their snores sound similar to Mozart’s Requiem. But dare you hear yourself snoring! Your biased mind will immediately tag it as the most soul-crushing sound it has ever heard. So much love for a stranger and not even an ounce of it for your own self who got you to this point (physically and mentally), quite ironic isn’t it?

Given that you spent your entire life spreading love it’s not uncommon that you forgot about yourself. Or if you hid yourself from love, it’s not uncommon either that you forgot to cherish yourself while being busy protecting yourself. Or maybe it is that you have gotten too comfortable with yourself that you have stopped seeing the spark in you, that made you “you”. Whatever may your reason be, it’s not too late to start today, and no you don’t need to declare loud and clear on social media with #lovemyself because true self-love starts with yourself, not with the world and it starts with baby steps not trending hashtags. So, let’s start small.

How to start the process of loving myself?

Only if loving yourself was as easy as baking a cake or heating up last night’s pizza, then a step-by-step guide would have sufficed but sadly the process of loving yourself neither has any prescribed steps that you need to follow one after the other nor does it offer any clear measurement as to how much or how less of certain things you must do. But it is a process nonetheless and the results are totally worth it. We will try to outline it for you below to the best of our ability:

• Stop Being a Judgy Aunty:

Believe it or not, it is only those who judge others the most tend to put themselves on a pedestal or try to achieve that pedestal at the very least. The moment you stop judging others is when you truly realise that unlike the Olympics life doesn’t really have pedestals but rather serene pathways which put all of us at the same level. The moment you start seeing the beauty in others you shall be surprised by your own glow. And no you don’t need to don those ridiculous naive rainbow glasses, you can still be a vigilante individual, but you will no longer be an insecure one. How to start doing it? Just imagine if you were in their place would you appreciate the comments you made about them? Will it hurt you? Then you bet it will hurt them too. Empathy is the key. 

• Allow Yourself to be Human:

Sounds weird? But honestly, it’s the simplest things that you tend to overlook the most. When was the last time you actually were okay with not being a topper or excelling at everything you touch? For all those who are struggling to remember it’s about time you start letting yourself heal. We all want to be the best at everything we do but in this race of excelling, we often neglect ourselves, so even though we end up reaching the finish line it’s often with a shell of a shelf we started with. How to ensure this doesn’t happen? How about starting with trusting yourself? If you feel that this opportunity is not the best for you, trust your gut and reject it. Often times it’s the fear of saying no and never getting another acceptance that makes us start doubting ourselves. You can only truly start valuing yourself if you give yourself the trust it always deserved. And if it turns out to be not a great gut instinct learn to accept it as part of living something called a “life”. The K-drama Because This is My First Life captures this sentiment perfectly, 

“​​Good luck, going through this life is the first time for all of us anyways.”

• Toxicity Exists: 

As much as we would love to believe in the goodness of people, toxicity will still prevail. You can’t do anything about it but you can ensure you don’t become one to yourself. All you need to do is stop feeling guilty about putting yourself first and removing the tumours from your life. It will hurt after all it was once part of you, but ask yourself is it really worth letting it fester and grow and destroy your entire existence? Letting just one part heal is way easier than trying to rebuild your entire existence. Not everyone will get you but then again you’re not loving yourself for them. 

• Feeling It, Healing It: 

It’s not easy to experience fear, anger or all the other negative emotions but it’s because of these emotions that you truly cherish the good moments. No matter how much you wish to run away from them, don’t. Take a step back and sit down and let it surround you. Try to understand why this is happening, ask yourself, don’t run away from it. Good or bad, positive or negative they are your emotions and hence deserve your time and curiosity. If you can spend hours helping somebody else navigate their way through their fear or sadness, you can at least give an hour to yourself, don’t you think?

These are just a few ways you can ensure that the lighting of the lamp called Life is angled just the right way to help you see yourself better.

Parting Words

In a world filled with everyone else’s light, it’s hard to see your own shine, but with time and looking at things at just the right angle you will be able to see the light too, just like Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Your body, your time, your mind, and your entire existence matter more to you than to any other person alive. You are precious to yourself. The road to loving yourself is not easy, but at least now you will have a start.

Buddhadeb Bosu is one of the most proclaimed modern Indian writers of the 20th century. Although he holds a great reputation in Bengali poetry, he was a versatile writer with his contributions to novels, short stories, plays, and essays. He is also considered one of the most versatile writers of Bengali literature after Tagore. In his commemoration today, on his birth anniversary, let’s celebrate his contribution to Indian literature and society. 

Buddhadeb Bosu: Early Life

Born on 30th November 1908, Buddhadeb Bosu studied English literature at the University of Dhaka and resided in Jagannath Hall. In 1931, after completing a master of arts there he moved to Calcutta where he took private teaching sessions to financially sustain himself. He scored distinction marks, which were unsurpassable till 2007. He also obtained the highest possible marks in the first Binnet Intelligence Test, later known as the IQ test. 

Literary Life

While Buddhadeb Bosu was a student only, he started working for the Kallol magazine. Kallol magazine was the first literary movement that argued for embracing modernist techniques of literature in Bengali literature. This magazine was highly influenced by contemporary theorists such as Karl Marx and Sigmund Freud. Through the Kallol magazine, Buddhdeb significantly contributed to the emergence of many new writers and thinkers in Bengali literature. Later on, he worked as an editor and literary critic of the literary magazine Pragati. The establishment of the Kavita, the most prestigious poetry publication in Bengali, which he edited and published for 25 years, was one of his most significant contributions to Indian literature. 

At the age of seventeen, Bandir Bandana, his debut poetry book, was released. Despite teaching at several colleges and institutions, he spent his entire life studying literature. Kavita Bhavan, the name of his Calcutta apartment, serves as a metaphor for this. In 1930, at the age of 18, he wrote his debut book, Saara. Despite writing almost 40 books, his epic novel Tithidore, released in 1949, is today regarded as a masterpiece and became his most admired work. He released over 160 titles in his lifetime. 

Tagore’s influence was evident in Buddhadeb Bosu’s early writings. Although Bosu continued to have a great deal of respect for Tagore, he eventually departed from his influence. Instead, Bosu’s poetry turned more direct and personal. This transformation was sparked by Bosu’s admiration of Occidental or Western literature, which prompted and expanded his work. His poems reflected the influence of notable Western poets such as Baudelaire, Rilke, T. S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, and Ezra Pound.

Awards and Recognition

Bosu continues to be an essential figure in Bengali writing from the 20th century to this day. Among the poets who came to represent Bengali modernism in the early 1900s, Buddhadeb Bosu played a pivotal role. For his verse drama Tapaswi-O-Tarangini, he was awarded the Sahitya Akademi Award in 1967. For Swagato Biday, he was presented with the Rabindra Puraskar in 1974. In 1970, he was awarded a Padma Bhushan.

Geeta Dutt, born Geeta Ghosh Roy Chowdhuri, was a legendary Indian playback singer, celebrated for her musical renditions in both Hindi and Bengali classical music. Her life started from a quaint village in pre-Partition India to the glamorous world of Bollywood and is a tale of talent and tragedy. Through this throwback Thursday we dive right into the life and career of Geeta Dutt, a singer whose voice left an indelible mark on the hearts of millions.

Early Life

Geeta Dutt was born on 23rd November 1930 in the village of Idlipur, Madaripur Subdivion, Geeta belonged to a wealthy Zamindar family in British India. Her early years were spent in the beauty and calm of her rural surroundings. However, the winds of change blew through her life as her family shifted to Calcutta and Assam in 1940 and left their ancestral land and properties behind.
In 1942, the family made another big move, this time to the city of dreams Bombay. Geeta Dutt was 12 years old and continued her education at the Bengali High School. It was in Bombay that she would find her love for the world of music.

Singing Career: A Star in the Making

Geeta’s remarkable singing talent was not unnoticed for long. She was taken under the guidance of K. Hanuman Prasad, who mentored and trained her in the art of singing. 1946 brought her big break when she was offered an opportunity to sing in the mythological film “Bhakta Prahlad”, with Prasad as a music director. At 16 she had sung for two songs, starting her melodious singing career.

Personal Life: Love and Tragedy

While recording songs for the movie “Baazi,” Geeta’s life took an unexpected turn. She met the young and promising director, Guru Dutt. Their shared passion for music and cinema soon blossomed into romance, culminating in their marriage on 26 May 1953. The couple was blessed with 3 children- Tarun, Arun, and Nina.

Geeta Dutt’s voice wasn’t confined to the silver screen. She also recorded several non-film albums, collaborating with notable music directors Sudhin Dasgupta and Anal Chatterjee. However, the Bollywood glitz and glamour took its toll on the marriage of the couple. Guru Dutt’s involvement with actress Waheeda Rehman and Geeta’s struggles with alcohol brought challenges to their relationship and impacted her singing career.

In 1964 Guru Dutt passed away due to a combination of alcohol and a sleeping pill overdose. His death, believed by many to be a suicide, had a deep impact on Geeta, pushing her into a severe nervous breakdown and money troubles. She attempted to revive her singing career by performing at Durga Puja and stage shows. Geeta Dutt even had a significant role in the Bengali movie “ Badhu Baran” ( 1967) and gave an outstanding performance in “Anubhav” (1971), set to the music of Kanu Roy.

Her final performance was in “Midnight” (1972), although the film remained unreleased. In it, she sang two duets, one was with the renowned Talat Mahmood.

The Final Note: A Premature Farewell

On 20th July 1972, at the age of 41, Geeta Dutt’s melodious journey came to a tragic untimely end. She succumbed to cirrhosis of the liver in Mumbai, leaving behind her three children and her siblings. Her passing marked the end of an era in Indian music, and her legacy as one of the greatest playback singers in the history of Hindi cinema lives on. Geeta Dutt’s life is a tale of soaring success, heart-wrenching setbacks, and the enduring power of music. Her voice enchanted and captivated melodies to echo in the hearts of music enthusiasts, reminding us of her timeless contribution to the world of music.

Another retelling of the classic Indian epic, “Mahabharata”, “Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi” by Pratibha Ray (translated by Pradip Bhattacharya) is bound to make one question about things that one probably never thought about that deeply. While reading the original epic it may be hard for one to relate to the character of Draupadi as she often is ready to take drastic steps to preserve Dharma on Earth. But this particular work gives us an insight as to how at the end of the day she is still a human and no matter how much she may try to not stray away from the path of Dharma, her human instincts will still make her second guess the road of Dharma especially when things don’t work out in her favour. 

However, it was not so elaborately described in the classic epic as the focus was more on the entire tale rather than just one character. But given that Ray dedicated the entire book to Draupadi’s cause, it only makes sense for her to do justice to Draupadi’s character by showing all probable sides of her in different situations that the “Mahabharata” deprived us of.

Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi: A Closer Look

Taking certain creative liberties, though Ray has based “Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi” on Ved Vyasa’s Mahabharata, she has also taken elements from Sarala Das’s Odia Mahabharata. Starting at the foothills of Mount Sumeru, the book opens with Yajnaseni taking her final breaths before she closes the book of her life. It is in this dire moment left alone to die that she starts recounting her tale from the very beginning and how it led to her final moments in the form of a long letter to her dear friend Krishna. Thus, we can say that the novel is indeed written in epistolary form. 

Recounting all her life events from her birth from the sacrificial fire to spending her life as a forest dweller as a result of being a wife to a Brahmin and leaving her life of luxury behind to gaining it back to facing humiliation at the hands of Kauravs to playing an integral role in the famous Kurukshetra War. “Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi” covers all the major events of the classic epic, but this time instead of seeing a righteous and composed Draupadi, we see a Draupadi who is filled with questions and is unable to understand why she must sacrifice almost everything in the name of Dharma? Especially when in most situations she feels she is unjustly put in a predicament and is asked to take a side which is not beneficial to her in any way such as the events that led to her marrying the five Pandavas. By giving Draupadi and her doubts centre stage, Ray shows how truly complex of a character Draupadi is. 

Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi: A Feminist Tale

Being learned and able to discriminate between the good and the bad, she is unable to understand why many of these ancient spiritual scriptures give such rigid guidelines for women to follow yet she is always kept in the shadows and it is the man who takes all the glory. Why is it considered socially acceptable for a man to marry as many wives as he wishes but if a woman has more than one husband at a time then she is considered to be unchaste? Posing questions like a true feminist during an era dominated by patriarchy which was further substantiated by spiritual scriptures and social norms, Ray’s depiction of Draupadi’s character lends a feminist lens to the classic epic.   

Further, Ray’s usage of first-person narrative helps her connect Draupadi with her readers on a very personal level. Draupadi’s vivid descriptions and imagery only enhance the reader’s sensory experience as one tries to navigate their way through the mind of Panchali and make the connection with the events happening around her. The deep relationship between Draupadi and Krishna can hardly be ignored. Although he is the puppeteer behind the entire epic, Draupadi’s devotion to him blinds her to see how her dear sakha is the one ensuring that Draupadi doesn’t escape any of the predicaments that she is supposed to go through in that lifetime as it’s necessary for the establishment of Dharma on Earth. As she transitions from different roles of a daughter to wife to the five Pandavas to a daughter-in-law to a Queen, the readers are left awestruck at her resolve to do her best in all the roles given that each of them demands different things from her especially her role as wives to five men where she must try to be suitable for each of them.

Afterword

From the way, Draupadi doesn’t hesitate to question the authority of a man when necessary such as when Yudhishthir staked Draupadi in a game of dice, which prompted her to question how Yudhishthir can even think of treating his wife as if she is his property and not a person?: 

“What is this behaviour of Yudhishthir? Does even the most immoral uncivilized gambler ever stake his wife? Has anyone ever done such a detestable act in the history of the world?” (Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi)

To her ability to blaze through life like the fire of the sacrificial altar she took birth from, we get to see how well-rounded of a character she truly is. From her miraculous birth to her serving as one of the catalysts that led to the famous Kurukshetra War to her realizing the gravity of the loss that she suffered as a result of the war, to finally her journey to enlightenment as she made her way to Mount Sumeru, “Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi” ensures to add more personality to the character of Draupadi, as she doesn’t shy away from demanding justice for herself or giving her unfiltered social commentary on the patriarchal society which was the norm back then. Pratibha Ray elevates Draupadi’s character and helps us understand her predicament and personality better.   

Ajeet Cour is a powerful voice in Punjabi Literature. She started writing as a teenager and now is the author of twenty-two books. Ajeet Cour holds a special place in the Indian and Punjabi literature of women. Women’s literature and writing primarily narrates the subjugated and harsh realities of women’s lives. Ajeet Cour, as a Punjabi woman writer, stands as a means to present the suppressed voices. 

She is a proud recipient of the Padma Shri, one of the highest civilian awards by the Government of India and Sahitya Akademi. She was born in Lahore and migrated to Delhi in 1947. Today, 16th November marks her 89th birth anniversary. Let’s revisit her life and work to commemorate her contribution.

Early Life and Literary Works

Ajeet Cour was born on 16th November 1934 in Lahore in the family of Sardar Makhan Singh. She pursued her primary education in Lahore, Pakistan. After the partition, she moved to Delhi with her family and pursued M.A. in Economics. She started as a romantic writer but has since changed and become a realist. She effectively depicts the unjust treatment of women in interpersonal relationships in her short stories, throwing light on their subordination in the contexts of both partners and lovers. 

Beyond the mere existence of a physical house, her literary works express a woman’s search for a true home. As a result of her fearless and perceptive columns, Ajeet Cour has become a prolific representative for women’s issues in recent years. Her courage and perspective captivate readers. 

She has published twenty-two books to date that include translations, novellas, short stories, and biographical sketches. The notable novellas that she has written are Dhup Wala Shehar and Post Mortem. A movie has been adapted from her book Gauri. Additionally, television has serialized her short story Na Maaro.

Ajeet Cour: What Is It That Liberates A Woman?

Ajeet Cour’s autobiography, Weaving Water is divided into two sections, “Koora Kabara” and “Khanabadosh,” which were first released in Punjabi. In her autobiography, she questions the concept of liberation, what it means, and when can one be considered liberated. She expands on it saying that economic independence was not equal to liberation for her. Despite earning for years she felt confined by an “unknown terror”. She endured a toxic and abusive marriage for thirteen years and whenever she tried to leave it, she was constantly reminded of her helplessness. By this, she highlights the patriarchal and misogynistic society that confines women regardless of their economic status. According to them, the only option women had was to suffer. 

Although Ajeet Cour recognizes the importance of economic liberation and the courage it instills, she focuses on how there’s more to a woman’s liberation. Even after countering every single person, societal norm and earning, some terrors surround women and keep them from freeing themselves. She focuses on the inherent inferiority associated with women and emphasizes how a man’s word holds grave importance over anyone else’s, regardless of any situation.

Ajeet Cour’s domestic abuse – both physical and mental – was nothing in front of the husband’s social status. Instead, it was she who was villainized for her independent life choices. Shattering all the patriarchal boundaries, both around herself and inside herself, Ajeet Cour summarizes liberation as an act of letting go of the restricting societal norms. It is finding your identity, which is not a daughter, a wife or a mother but something you weave for yourself.

Contributions and Achievements

Ajeet Cour’s literary contribution to empowering women holds a profound place in Indian literature. Her works, translated into Hindi, English and many other languages, have expanded and diversified her readership, reflecting the magnitude of her literary influence. In 1977, Ajeet Cour established the Academy of Fine Arts and Literature, a non-profit institution in New Delhi devoted to the arts, music, dance, theater and literature. She received the Shiromani Sahitkar Award in 1979 and the IATA Award in 1984. She achieved her highest point in 1985 when her autobiographical work earned her the Sahitya Akademi Award. 

Then, she established the Indian Council for Poverty Alleviation in response to societal demands. Additional recognition arrived in the late 1980s with the 1989 Punjabi Sahita Sabha Award and the Bharatiya Bhasha Parishad Award. Her autobiography won her another Sahitya Akademi Award in 1986, marking a literary milestone. In 2006, Ajeet Cour earned recognition for her literary works and dedication to social justice, receiving the Padma Shri award. Her influence was seen in the Foundation of SAARC Writers and Literature as well as the Indian Council for Poverty Alleviation.

As someone who has dedicated her life to literary excellence, social causes and the advancement of the arts and culture, Ajeet Cour currently presides over the Academy of Fine Arts and Literature in New Delhi.